Breaking the Stigma

Growing up, society taught me that I should not disclose that I am an alcoholic or an addict - that my addiction is something I should be ashamed of. I heard this message every time someone described another person's behavior to be that of a “crackhead,” every time someone talked about what a “drunk” someone... Continue Reading →

The Lies She Wanted to Hear

Reflecting on what life was like in active addiction, and thanking God I don't live there anymore. 6:45am… She wakes in the morning, and immediately feels the pain of her head against the pillow. She feels embarrassed, but she doesn’t know why. This is not unusual. She often feels the sting of regret before she even remembers... Continue Reading →

Dear Vanessa

I used to spend my Friday nights at parties and nightclubs. I would spend hours getting all dressed up, putting on makeup, curling my hair. I craved the excitement of finally letting loose (i.e. drinking WAY too much) just as much as I craved attention, because I thought attention meant popularity, beauty meant power and the attraction of men meant... Continue Reading →

Why Not Me?

When I finally found recovery, I was consumed with self-pity. I lived in a constant state of “woe is me” and was downright convinced there was not a single individual on this earth who could understand what I was going through, or what I was thinking and feeling. My self-centeredness, which I would come to find... Continue Reading →

Before You Judge Me

Today, I celebrate 3 years living in recovery! There was a time, not too long ago, that I didn't think I would survive another 3 years, so this milestone is an incredible accomplishment for a once hopeless addict like myself.  I am often asked if I am worried about what people will think of me for openly admitting to being... Continue Reading →

When Words are Weapons

There was a comment under an article I read that hit me hard: “We shouldn’t have to help fund the drug problem! Addiction is not a disease, it is a choice! We should just allow natural selection to take it's course.” Normally, I brush off offensive statements about addiction and recovery. I even defend those people... Continue Reading →

Dear Addiction

Dear Addiction, I am writing today to say goodbye. I need you to know that I have built a new life, one much different than I have ever known before. A life that brings me joy, genuine friendship and unimaginable love; a life I don't need to escape from. I know that if I return to you, I... Continue Reading →

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