We Can Do Better! 

People have told me I am brave for sharing my story publicly. Women have reached out to me, men too, and praised me for my strength and confidence. They tell me I am courageous. And every time I hear and/or read these words, I can feel the heat rising to my face, and my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

I used to react this way because I didn’t believe I was brave or courageous. I wasn’t confident, they just happened to see the mask I chose to wear on that particular day. I thought I was a failure, and that my story wasn’t courageous at all…it was simply necessary.

Today, it’s because I wish we as people, especially women, would do better. I wish we would BE better; to ourselves and to each other. I wish we would always talk to each other this way; building each other up instead of tearing each other down.

We are all brave! Most of us just haven’t realized it yet, maybe some of us never will, and this is one of life’s greatest tragedies…

Maybe nobody ever told us how strong we were, and maybe someday they will wish that they had only to find it is a lifetime too late.

Maybe we suffer from depression, anxiety or any number of debilitating mental health conditions, and we fail to realize what an incredibly brave thing we are doing when we simply choose to get out of bed every morning to face the world.

Maybe we’ve had our hearts broken, and we don’t realize how much courage it took for us to learn to trust again!

Maybe we were abused or sexually assaulted – maybe it was by a family member, significant other or a complete stranger, and that experience only served to validate our worst fears about ourselves; that we are unworthy, unlovable and weak.

That is not the truth. You are NOT the weak one. You are NOT unlovable. You are NOT your fears.

My hope is that all of my friends learn to take a moment to reflect on their lives and pin point at least one instance where you were truly courageous! My hope is that we help each other recognize these strengths along the way! It doesn’t matter how insignificant you think it is…because, let’s face it, our thoughts about ourselves are overwhelmingly inaccurate.

Hold onto that moment, look yourself in the mirror and say this, “I am strong. I am unique! I am powerful! I am courageous!!!”

You will probably feel silly! Good! Say it anyway!

You might find that it is hard to look yourself in the eyes while saying these words. I did too. Say it anyway!

You might cry…GOOD! Say it in spite of your insecurities.

Start today! Do it every day! Do it multiple times a day if you have to! Say it until you no longer feel silly. Say it until you can look yourself in the eyes without turning away! Say it until you no longer crumble to tears! And maybe some day you will finally see yourself the way your loved ones do!

Beautiful! Strong! Fierce!

Say it until you believe it, and the world will have no choice but to believe it too!

💕 💕💕💕💕

Vanessa Day – Recovery Advocate

11 thoughts on “We Can Do Better! 

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  1. Yes! You are a warrior! Every single woman or man should be proud when they conquer their “monster.” It is a fight every single day and it takes great strength and courage. I am in your corner and everyone else’s who is battling any addiction…my son included. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awesome! 🙂 Sometimes it’s good to laugh at ourselves too! It’s nice to remind ourselves that life is not always so serious! I had a counselor who gave me an assignment to do this every day. For the first couple of weeks I could barely even look myself in the eyes, because I was so ashamed of myself. Eventually, it became easier. I also laughed at myself a lot! But guess what? It worked! 🙂 I do believe those things about myself today. I hope you do too!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for this post. I think I will try to reread it when I need encouragement. I truly appreciate your experience as a lot of what you said resonates with my experience of depression and anxiety. I am always scared of what other people think when I go off sick. Just wanted to say thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome! I am happy to hear you could relate! One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was this: “It is none of my business what other people say about me behind my back.”

      I love it because it reminds me that worrying about what others are thinking or saying about me isn’t going to stop them from thinking or saying it! As long as you know your truth, you are fighting through each day and are living a life that makes you proud, that is ALL that matters! 💕 You are brave! 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great article. Thank you for sharing. I am surrending my addiction to God daily and it is starting to reduce its power over me in these early stages of recovery. However I sit with feelings of low self worth, paraonia and wanting to isolate. I will give this a go to try and start liking myself. Thank you once again.

    Liked by 1 person

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